COACHING FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL-AGED CHILDREN
Coaching can provide some guidance for 2e children on how to best approach various social and academic experiences with success. While not every twice-exceptional child will exhibit these behaviors, the most common areas of difficulty for twice-exceptional children of elementary school age are:
Emotional Regulation Challenges
Difficulty communicating their feelings, wants, and needs
Significant difficulty managing and controlling their emotions and coping with frustration
Easily overwhelmed and upset when things go wrong
Extreme difficulty with transitions or non-preferred activities
Can get easily bored with material below their level or easily frustrated with material above their level, and display behavior challenges as a result
Can have a strong sense of fairness and may struggle understanding someone else’s perspective and become argumentative
Can display emotional meltdowns, throw things, and in extreme cases, exhibit aggressive behaviors toward others
Often exhibit great insight and understanding when they have calmed down, but have difficulty using words to express their feelings and emotions
May exhibit rigid thinking, become easily frustrated with their own abilities, and show early signs of perfectionistic tendencies
May be preoccupied and overwhelmed by complex global issues and existential concerns and tend to ask extremely deep questions that adults often have trouble finding answers for
Social Difficulties
Difficulties interacting with peers and adults. Can come across as “know-it-alls” and have difficulty expressing strong feelings and opinions appropriately
Can become overly engrossed in a particular topic and not be aware that others may not share those interests
Because they crave intellectual stimulation, they may find same-age peers boring or uninteresting
May often feel like they do not connect with same-age peers or that others do not “get them” and as a result, they may have great difficulty creating strong bonds and developing and maintaining friendships
Internalizing Behaviors
Tend to struggle with low-academic self-concept, low self-esteem, or low self-confidence
May exhibit fearfulness, distress, and somatic complains as a result of repeated academic failures
Can become socially withdrawn as a result of their difficulties interacting with same-age peers
Can become easily overwhelmed with school workload and have difficulty managing stress
Because of the combination of their exceptionalities and the complexity of their needs, some twice-exceptional children may exhibit debilitating anxiety and depression
Executive Function Deficits
Can display many off-task behaviors that get them in trouble
Difficulty planning or tackling big and large-scale projects and estimating the amount of time and effort a project or activity will require
May struggle switching gears, shifting between activities, and starting tasks or using a different method or approach from the one they are comfortable using
Difficulty with multi-step directions or instructions and organizing, adjusting, or shifting the steps needed to carry out a task
Can blurt out answers and their responses may be unrelated to the question asked
May have difficulty memorizing words, letters, facts, multiplication tables, or foreign languages
Can make careless errors and mistakes
May need constant re-direction and supervision and can exhibit difficulty working independently
May struggle finishing a task despite having the knowledge or skills to do so
May have difficulty controlling impulses and are accident-prone
Tend to lose homework and study materials and mix up assignments or directions
Unique Sensory Needs
May become easily overwhelmed or overstimulated with sensory input and information such as bright lights, loud noises, or strong smells
May become anxious or aggressive when in sensory overload
May crave sensory stimulation or require a particular item to calm down
May dislike the way certain textures or fabrics feel and have difficulty eating certain foods or touching certain items
May be hypersensitive to light, touch, taste, sound, or smell and have extreme reactions to this
May exhibit the need for extra sensory input and seek it in inappropriate ways
May be frequently seen chewing on clothes, hair, fingers, or biting their pencils, erasers, etc
May exhibit motor coordination problems, such as having a weak pencil grasp or riding a bike
HOW COACHING CAN HELP
Regardless of the diagnosis your gifted child has -or has not- received, coaching at this age focuses on fostering social and emotional intelligence, cultivating self-awareness, and building specific skills to support an optimal social-emotional and academic development. I collaborate with families to help 2e children:
Develop emotional literacy and improve their ability to recognize and label emotions and feelings
Learn coping strategies and build frustration tolerance
Gain skills to participate more appropriately in learning experiences while managing off-task behaviors
Learn about how their brain works and become better at identifying emotional triggers as well as learning strengths and processing styles
Develop self-regulation skills and improve behaviors
Develop a set of study skills and systems to manage academic workload and long-term projects
Learn, practice, and hone skills to manage assignments and study effectively, such as organizing school papers and materials, writing and breaking down assignments, taking notes, keeping track of deadlines, and prioritizing tasks and activities
Identify and reframe behaviors and attitudes that are negatively affecting learning or social-emotional progress
Learn to advocate for themselves and communicate with teachers and adults about how to work together to address unique needs
Develop communication and interpersonal skills to help them form strong social relationships