COACHING FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS
In addition to learning how to navigate a variety of new experiences and dealing with the social pressures of the teen years, very bright children who participate in advanced-level classes or programs can have trouble navigating this rigorous academic world. For those who have not received special services or supports to address their challenges, the increasing academic demands of middle school can become mentally and emotionally overwhelming.
Being a twice-exceptional teen is not easy. There is no manual for this, but coaching can provide some guidance for 2e teens on how to best approach various social and academic experiences with success.
While not every twice-exceptional adolescent will exhibit these behaviors, the most common areas of difficulty for twice-exceptional children of middle school age are:
Emotional Regulation Challenges
As they enter the teen years, gifted children who have not developed strong emotional awareness may exhibit difficulty understanding, expressing, and managing feelings and emotions
May have extreme difficulty with transitions or non-preferred activities
Can get easily bored with material below their level or easily frustrated with material above their level and display behavior challenges as a result
Can have a strong sense of fairness and may struggle understanding someone else’s perspective and become argumentative
May exhibit rigid thinking, become easily frustrated with their own abilities, and show signs of perfectionistic tendencies
Can struggle with emotional dysregulation and have significant difficulty calming down
May be preoccupied and overwhelmed by complex global issues and existential concerns. It is believed that the higher the intelligence, the higher the existential concerns
Can be temperamental and exhibit rebelliousness and oppositional tendencies
Social Difficulties
Difficulties interacting with peers and adults. Can come across as “know-it-alls” and have difficulty expressing strong feelings and opinions appropriately
Can become overly engrossed in a particular topic and not be aware that other people may share those interests
Because they crave intellectual stimulation, they may find same-age peers boring or uninteresting
May feel like they do not connect with same-age peers or that others do not “get them”
May be seen as “just too much” by same-age peers and others who are unfamiliar with giftedness. As a result, they may have great difficulty creating strong bonds and developing and maintaining friendships
May have difficulty finding time to schedule or plan social activities and tend to be forgetful of important details and information about social events such as dates and times
May be easily distracted by social media and technology, neglecting academic obligation or struggling with face-to-face interactions
Internalizing Behaviors
Because they may feel under pressure to achieve and perform at high levels, the may be reluctant to ask for help and develop insecurities around their abilities
Tend to struggle with low-academic self-concept, low self-esteem, or low self-confidence
May exhibit fearfulness, distress, and somatic complaints as a result of repeated academic failures
May become socially withdrawn as a result of their difficulty interacting with same-age peers
May become easily overwhelmed with school workload and have difficulty managing stress or test anxiety
Because of the combination of their exceptionalities and the complexity of their needs, some twice-exceptional children may exhibit debilitating anxiety and depression
Executive Function Deficits
Can display many off-task behaviors that get them in trouble
Difficulty planning or tackling big and large-scale projects and estimating the amount of time and effort a project or activity will require
May struggle switching gears, shifting between activities, and starting tasks or using a different method or approach from the one they are comfortable using
Difficulty with multi-step directions or instructions and organizing, adjusting, or shifting the steps needed to carry out a task
Can blurt out answers and have difficulty waiting for their turn and controlling impulses
May have difficulty memorizing words, facts, formulas, or foreign languages
Can make careless errors and mistakes and their work can be illegible
May struggle finishing a task despite having the knowledge or skills to do so
Tend to lose homework and study materials and mix up assignments or directions
Unique Sensory or Processing Needs
May become easily overwhelmed or overstimulated with sensory input and information such as bright lights, loud noises, or strong smells
May exhibit the need for extra sensory input and movement
May exhibit motor coordination problems, which can affect their writing abilities and further impact their academic progress
As a result of years of compensating for their academic weaknesses, some twice exceptional teenagers may develop unique processing needs and have difficulty adjusting to new academic experiences and demands
HOW COACHING CAN HELP
Coaching during the teenage and middle school years focuses on building strong executive function skills and promoting self-awareness and social-emotional intelligence. I collaborate with 2e adolescents to help them:
Develop a set of study skills and systems to manage academic workload and long-term projects
Learn, practice, and hone skills to manage assignments and study effectively, such as organizing school papers and materials, writing and breaking down assignments, taking notes, keeping track of deadlines, and prioritizing tasks and activities
Identify and reframe behaviors and attitudes that are negatively affecting learning or social-emotional progress
Establish and maintain strong organizational and time management skills and use technology tools and mindfulness-based strategies to support these skills
Understand their learning and processing styles and strengths and use methods that fit their preferences
Learn to advocate for themselves and communicate with teachers and adults about how to work together to address unique needs
Engage in a self-reflective process to explore their strengths, interests, and talents and see how they can apply this to learning and academic projects
Develop communication and interpersonal skills to help them form strong social relationships